Between
Ever get a case of the “betweens?” You might recognize the symptoms: restlessness with what is, impatience with your life’s timetable, questioning your last move, and wondering what’s next. It’s a discontent that usually has us looking way past our current circumstances, vainly wishing for different ones, and missing out on the blessing of the now. Akin to the “if-onlys,” a short-lived malady of pre-teens and teenagers alike, the “betweens” are usually found among the adult population, lasting anywhere from weeks to years.
This very moment, I am between jobs, between starting and finishing a Masters degree, between child-bearing and menopause, between parenting adolescents and young adults, between medical check-ups, between a root canal and a permanent crown, between pain and exercise, between birthdays, between hair-color appointments, and hopefully, between knowing-loving-serving Christ on this earth and living with him in heaven.
While I am living much of my life in-between right now, the only time I suffer the effects of the betweens is when I lose my faith perspective, also known as The Big Picture. The betweens sneak up on me and catch me with my immunity down. I listen more to cultural myths around me, rather than to the Word of God in my life.
Honestly, I don’t always like being in-between. I selfishly want to be more, be moved, be great, be busy, be successful, be “somebody,” be attractive, be happy, be all I can be, be entertained, be cool, be you-fill-in-blank. These thoughts diminish my self-worth and value. That’s when I get a case of the betweens.
A recent conversation with a friend reminded me of my struggles with the betweens. My friend quit her “dream job”—one that she was well suited for and well compensated for—without having another job lined up. At the time it was clear that she left for well-thought-out and noble reasons. Now in the weeks after her resignation, she is clearly in-between, and valiantly trying to resist coming down with the betweens. Sometimes God moves us to the in-between for his purposes that are not readily clear.
My experience is similar. I was strictly a stay-at-home mom for 12 beautiful-wonderful-busy years. Then I worked part-time at my own “dream job” for 4 beautiful-wonderful-busier years. Then, after a time of prayerful discernment, I left my position and came “back home.” I confidently considered the first year “back at home” a sabbatical. The second year, I began to feel the need to justify my decision to others when asked about it. I was developing a clear case of the betweens. I had taken my eyes off The Big Picture.
Two insights have helped me find a cure to my betweens-thinking. They haven’t moved me out of the between circumstances that I am in, but they have allowed me to embrace the time and value the place that I call in-between.
The first was a simple metaphor using grammar: between is a preposition, and an adverb. It’s a word that expresses a relationship with another word. Similarly, as a spiritual metaphor, a between time in my life can be a time of expressing a relationship with another Word—Jesus—and allowing him to express that relationship with me. In short, in-betweens times can be full of great blessing and renewal.
Here’s another angle: the first two letters of “between” are the word “be.” It’s a verb, an “action” word located within an adverb. Looking at this spiritually, if I examine my life, I can see that the in-between can be actively passive. There is something comforting, yet dynamic about God’s call to “be.” God be can quite active during this less-active period. Psalm 46:10 reminds me to “Be still and know that I am God.” God has a purpose for every time or season even when I slow down, take a break, or stop. This brings new meaning to my between-ness. If God has called me to this between time, then I am to be at peace until his timing proves otherwise. Spiritually speaking, for me, the struggle boils down to the need “to be” outweighing the need “to do.”
The second insight is this: Jesus is profoundly present in between-ness. Scripture shows the covenant between God and us is Jesus. His incarnation whereby “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us”(John 1: 14) brought communion between God and us, and between heaven and earth. His cross was the price between our sinfulness and our redemption. The path between this life to the next is Jesus.
Finding Jesus within my in-betweens means I don’t have to justify my existence. He does that for me. Every morning when I open my eyes, take my next breath, and put my feet on the floor, he justifies my existence. He permits it. He ordains it. Psalm 139: 16 says “All the days ordained for me are written in your book before one of them came to be.” This great loving God, whose sovereignty, friendship and holiness I value above all, ordained these days for me. He justified my being here – between all the circumstances of my life.
God knew there would be days when I was not “productive” in the eyes of the world, and yet I am still precious to him. The dignity of being means that my life is precious right now, just as it is. Just to be is holy. This dignity elevates all human life, in all of its dimensions.
And so I must choose to live in the freedom of that understanding, not waiting for the next step, the next job, the next phase, the next year, the next you-name-it. Its hard to practice, but submitting my mind and will to it allows me to make peace with the yet unknown, and not to overly anticipate it… to live in the abiding knowledge that Jesus is in between now and then.
©2005 Patricia W. Gohn
This article appeared previously in CatholicMom.com.
This very moment, I am between jobs, between starting and finishing a Masters degree, between child-bearing and menopause, between parenting adolescents and young adults, between medical check-ups, between a root canal and a permanent crown, between pain and exercise, between birthdays, between hair-color appointments, and hopefully, between knowing-loving-serving Christ on this earth and living with him in heaven.
While I am living much of my life in-between right now, the only time I suffer the effects of the betweens is when I lose my faith perspective, also known as The Big Picture. The betweens sneak up on me and catch me with my immunity down. I listen more to cultural myths around me, rather than to the Word of God in my life.
Honestly, I don’t always like being in-between. I selfishly want to be more, be moved, be great, be busy, be successful, be “somebody,” be attractive, be happy, be all I can be, be entertained, be cool, be you-fill-in-blank. These thoughts diminish my self-worth and value. That’s when I get a case of the betweens.
A recent conversation with a friend reminded me of my struggles with the betweens. My friend quit her “dream job”—one that she was well suited for and well compensated for—without having another job lined up. At the time it was clear that she left for well-thought-out and noble reasons. Now in the weeks after her resignation, she is clearly in-between, and valiantly trying to resist coming down with the betweens. Sometimes God moves us to the in-between for his purposes that are not readily clear.
My experience is similar. I was strictly a stay-at-home mom for 12 beautiful-wonderful-busy years. Then I worked part-time at my own “dream job” for 4 beautiful-wonderful-busier years. Then, after a time of prayerful discernment, I left my position and came “back home.” I confidently considered the first year “back at home” a sabbatical. The second year, I began to feel the need to justify my decision to others when asked about it. I was developing a clear case of the betweens. I had taken my eyes off The Big Picture.
Two insights have helped me find a cure to my betweens-thinking. They haven’t moved me out of the between circumstances that I am in, but they have allowed me to embrace the time and value the place that I call in-between.
The first was a simple metaphor using grammar: between is a preposition, and an adverb. It’s a word that expresses a relationship with another word. Similarly, as a spiritual metaphor, a between time in my life can be a time of expressing a relationship with another Word—Jesus—and allowing him to express that relationship with me. In short, in-betweens times can be full of great blessing and renewal.
Here’s another angle: the first two letters of “between” are the word “be.” It’s a verb, an “action” word located within an adverb. Looking at this spiritually, if I examine my life, I can see that the in-between can be actively passive. There is something comforting, yet dynamic about God’s call to “be.” God be can quite active during this less-active period. Psalm 46:10 reminds me to “Be still and know that I am God.” God has a purpose for every time or season even when I slow down, take a break, or stop. This brings new meaning to my between-ness. If God has called me to this between time, then I am to be at peace until his timing proves otherwise. Spiritually speaking, for me, the struggle boils down to the need “to be” outweighing the need “to do.”
The second insight is this: Jesus is profoundly present in between-ness. Scripture shows the covenant between God and us is Jesus. His incarnation whereby “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us”(John 1: 14) brought communion between God and us, and between heaven and earth. His cross was the price between our sinfulness and our redemption. The path between this life to the next is Jesus.
Finding Jesus within my in-betweens means I don’t have to justify my existence. He does that for me. Every morning when I open my eyes, take my next breath, and put my feet on the floor, he justifies my existence. He permits it. He ordains it. Psalm 139: 16 says “All the days ordained for me are written in your book before one of them came to be.” This great loving God, whose sovereignty, friendship and holiness I value above all, ordained these days for me. He justified my being here – between all the circumstances of my life.
God knew there would be days when I was not “productive” in the eyes of the world, and yet I am still precious to him. The dignity of being means that my life is precious right now, just as it is. Just to be is holy. This dignity elevates all human life, in all of its dimensions.
And so I must choose to live in the freedom of that understanding, not waiting for the next step, the next job, the next phase, the next year, the next you-name-it. Its hard to practice, but submitting my mind and will to it allows me to make peace with the yet unknown, and not to overly anticipate it… to live in the abiding knowledge that Jesus is in between now and then.
©2005 Patricia W. Gohn
This article appeared previously in CatholicMom.com.
posted by Pat Gohn at
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